Miscellany 26: Shred the Miscellany like You’re an FBI Agent and It’s a Pile of Documents on Electoral Fraud

(1) I do a certain amount of yapping about dark-haired women, but…

I get the thing about blondes if they look like that!

(2) Suones at https://blog.reaction.la/politics/make-women-property-again/ tersely sums up the problem in the priesthood:

“Since superior holiness is the currency of priests, their failure mode is holiness-spiralling.”

This is a clearly true statement about the priesthood. However, the problem is not limited to the priesthood, as a casual glance at the political environment in 2021 reveals. Thus I disagree with e.g. Pooch at https://blog.reaction.la/war/where-we-are-now/

“Open priesthood is at the roof [root] of the holiness spiral problem. A theoretical perfect religion will still inevitably get holiness spiraled to demonic levels with an open priesthood.”

A lot of dudes in NRx think that the main problem of holiness spirals is an open priesthood. Alas, it’s not that simple. Even without an open priesthood, non-priest assholes would still have a desire to holiness spiral to virtue signal, and everyone has an incentive to do it to reduce the chance of being attacked by the swarm. (Some resist the incentive, of course.) The people who post “Refugees welcome” on Twitter don’t do that because they’re hoping for a job in the African Studies Department of their local university. Yes an open priesthood exacerbates the problem, but it’s not the core of the problem.

(3) As a follow-up to the previous point: What are we going to do if we actually win and succeed in closing the priesthood? I mean, as a matter of policy? The unofficial policy, expressed casually, will be something like, “Be pious, but don’t have a stick up your butt about it. And DON’T try to out-pious your neighbors, or we’ll punish you.” Robert Heinlein, in To Sail Beyond the Sunset, had his character Maureen Johnson say something in a similar vein, summing up what makes a person liked in her town, as opposed to resented for being an a-hole about religion: “Commandment number four. Go to church on Sundays. Smile and be pleasant but don’t be too smarmily a hypocrite… Support the church by deeds and money but not too conspicuously.”

So the basic idea is simple. But how can we officially communicate it to the population?

(4) Game: A field report. In my previous Miscellany post I wrote about some shit testing that I’ve encountered at the rink where I’ve been skating lately. Since that post until today that mostly stopped— I suspect this is because as I’ve gotten used to the temperature in this rink I’ve been wearing gloves less, so my wedding ring is now visible most of the time that I’m on the ice.

So anyway, it mostly stopped… until earlier today (the day I’m writing this, not the day I’m posting it). I get this blatant shit testing (STing) from two young women. One of them is the alpha bitch I mentioned in the previous Miscellany post; the other is a buddy of hers. Buddy is also a regular there but has never ST’d me before so I’ll call her New Brat. Now I can’t describe the shit test, because it involves a fairly unique feature of this particular rink, and I don’t want to out my location. It was not subtle. It was one of those, “Let’s blatantly provoke this guy because we’re intensely curious about how he’ll respond” shit tests.

I give myself a C-minus for handling it, by the way; I would say C+ but I’m dinging myself because I should have been expecting it— I got complacent when the tests died down over the last couple of weeks. Anyway…

So in response to the blatantly unreasonable behavior I throw a couple of joking jabs in New Brat’s direction. I’m nowhere near being within reach of her— maybe five feet away— and I’m smirking at the girls’ blatant double-X chromosome antics, so any human who’s not autistic is going to get that I’m kidding. New Brat goes, “Seriously? You’d hit a teenage girl?” Either she’s an autist or this is just another shit test. (What do you think?) Now let’s replay that and dig my immediate response:

“Seriously? You’d hit a teenage girl?”
“Oh yeah, I do it all the time!”

Any reader familiar with the basics of Game will recognize this as Agree and Amplify. But what interests me is that I wasn’t thinking in those terms. It just came out of me spontaneously in response to this dorky rhetorical question by this silly chick. And this is my point: We think of Agree and Amplify as a Game technique, but the reason the technique is a good one is that it’s a man’s natural response when some chick is being a dork and you don’t take her at all seriously.

Of course, this is true of all Game: The entire point is to mimic behaviors of a man who’s not impressed or interested. But it’s been years since I’ve had a chick say something quite that austitically dorky to me. I couldn’t even be arsed to pretend to take her seriously.

Of course, all men who use Game have experienced the delightful change of having the right behaviors become natural and spontaneous. I experienced that decades ago. But I normally think about this in terms of general alpha behavior (Game in the large), not specific techniques (Game in the small). So it was interesting that I spontaneously Agreed and Amplified, a specific technique, without thinking about it.

Ah, the classic techniques. They’re classic for a reason.

By the way, New Brat’s expression changed noticeably in response to my mockery. It looked like she was surprised or confused. Hopefully it’s because she actually heard what I was saying through my words. My words were, “Oh yeah, I do it all the time!” But what I was saying was, “You dork!”

However, since I don’t think I passed the shit test well, overall, there will be a follow-up test some time soon. God damn it, now I have to think about this until it gets resolved. Females are such a pain in the ass!

Follow-up about ten days later: Another shit test!

Memo to anti-Gamers and assorted blue-pillers: Note that Game predicted these young women’s behavior. Game is scientific; it’s a set of generalizations gleaned from a large mass of observations. And so, like classical mechanics enabling us to predict the positions of the planets, Game literally enables you to predict the future.

This time it was the alpha bitch from the previous Miscellany post, whom I am going to refer to as Drama Queen henceforth, for reasons that will immediately become apparent.

This time she and I did sorta kinda have a near miss. But not a very near miss. So she yelps “You almost killed me!” or something like that, while holding her hand over her heart as if she’s having a heart attack, LOL. She then skates over to the boards to get a consoling hug from her friend New Brat. I swear I am not making this up.

So I skate over to them and say to Drama Queen, “You’re okay. Everybody has near misses.” (Really, it wasn’t a very near miss.)

“What?” she says, while she theatrically folds her arms across her chest and tries to give me a piercing Alpha Bitch stare. The problem for her is, while this would be scary if it were Russia a couple of centuries ago and she were the Czarina and had the authority to have me sent to Siberia, coming from a teenage chick in the modern US it’s just silly. Actually it was kind of cute. I wish that all the teenage girl shit testing had been this easy to handle when I was in my teens. Or maybe it was, and I just find it easier to handle now due to experience.

Anyway, at this point I’m already skating backwards away from her because I want to get back in motion, so I make my hand into a trumpet and loudly repeat what I said while keeping eye contact with her, then I turn and skate away.

Thoughts:

Drama Queen’s shit testing is so silly, like she hasn’t had much practice. In general she, like her friend, is kind of a dork.

Two possible explanations (aside from her just being a doofus):

1) She might be younger than she looks.

2) They attend an all-girls school. This would explain the silliness of Drama Queen’s shit testing, as well as the fact that even though she’s hot she obviously isn’t getting laid (man this chick needs to be pronged, as her hilariously melodramatic shit testing reveals).

I seem to have been identified as the situational alpha of this rink. This is flattering, but the ST’ing is annoying as well as amusing. The amusement comes from the fact that her shit testing drama queenery is so over the top. When we both had to stop suddenly, Drama Queen acted like she was in a sub-basement two stories belowground at Hiroshima when the nuke went off, and through a freak combination of circumstances managed to survive. (“I need a hug!”) Also, I was skating backwards and she was skating forwards, so she should have seen me coming plenty of time before I looked over my shoulder and saw her. The annoyance comes from the fact that I am there for ice, not to be ST’d by histrionic females. Women!

Memo to self: PLAN FOR FURTHER SHIT TESTING.

I already have a woman, so leave me alone, you little spazzes! And even if I didn’t, there are also a few other considerations. I don’t want to fail shit tests, because I want to keep my dignity (and honestly, it’s fun to practice passing them). But the more I pass them the more of these chicks’ attention I’m going to draw. The ideal outcome is that they both start getting laid soon and they’ll suddenly be a lot more… relaxed. Then, one may hope, this whole issue will go away.

How to Ice Skate Repost

Reposting this today because it’s October first, a good day to put up stuff about skating. If your local rink isn’t open for the season yet, they will be soon. I think I’ll repost this every year on October 1 (until I forget or get bored). I’ve added some edits this year, particularly some links about stopping, the topic that n00bs at rinks ask me about the most.

Aright, bitches, ’tis the season, so listen up.

Ice skating is awesome. When you’re going fast it is the closest a human being can get to flying. The American Psychiatric Association defines “not liking ice skating” as a mental disorder. It’s in their diagnostic manual.

I always see a lot of n00bs ice skating, which is great! Here are some tips.

(1) You will fall. Get used to it.

(2) Ice skating is not walking on ice. The physics is different.

When you walk, you push backward with one foot. (See Figure 1.) If your foot has good traction on the ground, it can’t slip back, though, so instead you are pushed forward. (Newton’s third law of motion, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.”)

skatefig1small
Figure 1

You cannot do this on ice skates, padawan, because you’re on ice, on a blade that’s like a sixth of an inch thick. If you push your foot straight back, there is not enough area of the blade making contact with the ice to produce good traction. (See Figure 2.) Instead of being planted on the ice and thus propelling you forward, your foot will simply slide back. Then, because you’re a n00b, you’ll fall down. (Newton’s lesser-known fourth law of motion, “N00bs fall down.”)

skatefig2small
Figure 2. The thin black line is your blade’s contact with the ice.

How do you deal with this? Well, plainly you need more area of the blade making contact with the ice. Simply turning your foot somewhat sideways does it. (See Figure 3.) This gives your foot enough traction, so when you push it back, the only thing that can happen is that the rest of you goes forward.

skatefig-3small
Figure 3. (The extent to which the foot is turned here is exaggerated for clarity.)

Meanwhile you are pointing the other foot in roughly the direction you want to go, so you glide forward on that foot. (As per Newton’s fifth law, “Ice is slippery.”)

Then the feet switch roles, with the gliding foot becoming the foot you’re pushing back with, and the pushing foot becoming the gliding foot. Repeat.

Once you learn this, it really is easy and natural.

(3) On falling: One of the problems is that your instincts about righting yourself when you’re off balance are all wrong. Moves that help you regain your balance when you’re on terra firma don’t necessarily help you, to put it mildly, when you’re skating on blades on ice. You have to learn new reflexes (if learned reflexes isn’t an oxymoron). I can’t re-wire your neural wiring that handles these reflexes, so I don’t know what to tell you here, except that you have to practice.

(4) “Crossover,” logically enough, is the term for when you cross one foot over the other. You’ve seen this: It’s that thing a skater does where it seems like his feet are moving independently of the direction his body is traveling in, so it looks like he’s moonwalking or something.

Crossovers function best when you’re turning at high speed and really leaning into the turn. You do this naturally when you turn while running on ground, but when you do that your foot is planted. When you’re skating, in contrast, you continue to glide on that foot as you shift your weight into the turn, so that for a moment the foot is actually moving in a different direction from your body’s center of mass.

Crossovers are a great way to add speed with relatively little effort, because gravity is doing some of the work for you. When you change direction you lean in the direction you want to go in. So you start to fall in that direction. Before you fall very far, though, you put a foot out under yourself so you glide in that direction instead of falling.

By the way, when you take a turn with a fast series of crossovers, it actually is as fun as it looks. Hell, it’s much more fun. There’s a power and smoothness that is like nothing else. Cf. comment above, in re: “flying.”

(5) Control: As long as you’re not going too fast, turning is so easy that it’s practically subliminal. (No crossovers for the moment; I’m not talking about that level of speed.) Actually you’re shifting your weight ever so slightly in the direction you want to go in. But it feels like you’re just thinking yourself into changing direction. Telekinesis!

(6) Efficiency: Another way you can tell n00bs, even after they’ve learned to not fall much, is by how much energy they waste. In extreme cases it looks like they’re expending half again as much energy as they need to per foot-pound of work accomplished.

If this is you don’t worry; this takes care of itself over time. Your body’s natural reluctance to waste energy will quickly make you adjust so that your motion is economical.

(7) Stopping. Several n00bs at rinks have asked me for advice, particularly about how to stop.

The correct answer is: Stopping is for the weak and timid! Are you a wuss!? Are you!? Huh!? No? Then let’s have no more nonsense about stopping.

If you insist, though, you can just point yourself at a wall. That usually works.

All kidding aside: There are several ways to slow down, and if you slow long  enough or hard enough you’ll stop.

The easiest stop for n00bs is the snowplow stop. Just point your skates toward each other, while keeping your legs stiff so your feet don’t actually come together. If your feet bump into each other you’ll fall, obviously. But if you hold your feet apart at that angle, the blades will scrape against the ice, slowing you. And if you keep doing it, stopping you.

You can feel and hear the scraping, at least if you’re not at a rink where they constantly blast fucking country music over the sound system at full volume, what the actual fuck, not that I’m complaining or anything, but what the fuck? Don’t they know that playing that shit voids the warranty on your speaker system? Anyway…

Another popular method of stopping is the much-admired “hockey stop.” That’s the one you think of when I say “how to stop,” where they turn sideways and kick up ice shavings.

Just turn sideways and dig the blade of your leading foot into the ice. You’re also using your trailing foot, of course, but more for balance than friction, at least the way I do it (YMMV). Also, you’re doing some rapid adjustment of your balance, naturally.

When you first try this you’re going to think, “I shall now attempt a hockey stop.” That’s well and good, but you learn faster if you just think, “Shit! I need to stop!” and imagine what you’d do if you really needed to stop suddenly. This makes it more instinctive and less cerebral.

There are also innumerable fancy ways to stop.

If you don’t find those interesting enough try this: These guys are hilarious in their low-key Canadian way.

(8) Sharpness matters so your blades dig in. You need this (a) for acceleration, so your pushing foot can bite into the ice, (b) to slow yourself and stop, and (c) to execute a crossover. (Probably for six other reasons that I’m not thinking of at the moment too.) When you’re doing a crossover, the gliding foot has to bite into the ice to a certain extent or the foot will just slide out from under you. This happened to me once when I was trying to take too steep an angle with my gliding foot. Foot shot backward, rest of body went, “Hello, ice!”

The blade has some thickness; it’s not a knife blade. It’s the blade’s edges that are sharp. A couple of times I’ve actually draw blood from my hand accidentally with the edge. But that was probably right after they’d been sharpened; normally blades aren’t that sharp.

(9) Miscellany:

(A) Little kids on the ice are cute, but DANGER DANGER DANGER!!! Partly this is because they can’t control themselves yet, and partly because even the ones who can control themselves have no social awareness whatsoever. If they see Mom over there, they will simply turn with no warning in that direction, and if you’re behind them you’re going to be doing some fancy dancing to not hit them. This leads to hilarity and occasional bruises, because of course you’re going to steer yourself into a wall or shift so that you take a digger, instead of plowing into a little kid.

I recently cracked my elbow into the wall of a rink because I had to dodge a little one who seemed to execute a right-angle turn right in front of me with no warning. I had to do something to avoid smashing into him and I hit the plexi-glass. He didn’t even realize it had happened, but I got a sympathetic look from someone on the other side of the glass.

They can also turn quite suddenly because their centers of gravity are so low. It’s like they’re equipped with little inertialess drives.

Just remember this:

Little kids on ice = Brownian motion + inertialess drives.

(B) Use your ears as well as your eyes to help maintain awareness of other skaters in your vicinity. Thus you can avoid pulling a “little kid” and turning suddenly just when someone’s coming up behind you.

Caveat: Noise bounces around weirdly in the corners of the rink. Sometimes it sounds like someone is coming up behind you and just about to smash into you. You’re like “Gah!” but when you look around there’s no one within ten yards.

(C) Downhill skating. Sweet! But why didn’t they have this when I was 19? You kids today don’t know how good you have it, let me tell you, when I was your age I had to skate 40 miles to school, and it was uphill both ways! By God!

http://www.redbullcrashedice.com/en_INT

http://www.foxsports.com/north/story/downhill-skating-fun-to-watch-hard-to-do-011112

http://www.foxsports.com/north/story/ice-cross-downhill-competitors-hope-for-olympic-showcase-in-future-022114

(D) This is a politically incorrect blog, so an observation about the sexes. Normal people, continue to read; shrieking feminist shrikes, go somewhere else (permanently).

Still with me? OK, a fun observation:

All good skaters have both power and grace, strength and fluidity. But there is a difference between good female skaters and good male skaters. Good female skaters have strength – you can’t be a good skater without it – but they have more grace compared to male skaters. And good male skaters have grace – you can’t be a good skater without that, either(*) – but they have more power compared to female skaters. Just a nice little “the world is gendered” observation to affirm normality and freak out the screaming SJWs.

If you’re like most people, i.e. psychologically normal, you understand (there was a time when no one denied this!) that the sexes are different and that the differences, in so many ways, can be a source of delight to everyone. This is just a small example of that.

* Even the most brutal hockey player, 190 pounds of muscle and missing three front teeth, who starts throwing jabs at the slightest provocation, has grace on the ice. If you don’t believe me, Youtube is your friend.

(10) Have fun!

UPDATE: DON’T TEXT OR TAKE SELFIES WHILE SKATING! FUCKING RETARDS!